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Five Ways Drug Rehab Could Help the Cubs Win the World Series

If you are a Cub fan, you surely know that you support the team with the longest losing streak in professional sports. I find Cubs fans very courageous. While this is a bit of a whimsical approach, have you ever realized it is possible by not completing rehab you could prevent the Cubs from winning the World Series? Yes, its true. Let me show you how.

Fan are the life’s blood of a sport’s team. Anyone who is addicted to drugs cannot be a whole-hearted fan of their team. Their life is all about taking drugs and paying for drugs. Drug addicts certainly find it hard to concentrate on being a good fan, or paying to attend a Cubs game when fan support is desperately needed. A drug addict is always a poor fan.

Furthermore, any Cub fan knows that the baseball gods must be appeased. It is reasonable to expect that they will demand at some point a fan be present to help the Cub outfielder catch a needed out. But, a drug filled fan won’t be able to help, and trust me you don’t want to keep a Cubs fielder from catching this important out. A gentleman by the name of Mr. Bartman can tell you all about this.

Cub fans are still appeasing the curse of the goats. Anyone knows that appeasement must be humble and full of clarity concerning the crime. A drug addict would be lucky to remember to do this appeasement, let alone perform it correctly.

Cub players are perhaps more human than most baseball players. Imagine you told a Cubs player who needed a boost that you are going to get off drugs if he gets his batting average up to .290. The player does this, and then finds out you did not honor your word. Of course, his batting average will plunge into the .240s within days.

Let us also consider the ivy. This plant, where one baseball enters and three or more come back out, grows on the outfield wall at the Cub’s stadium. Some players and fans have braved the ivy never to return. Or is this a myth? How can a spaced out drug addict find any baseballs or bats in the ivy? Clearly, a drug addict is not going to return from the initial visit to the ivy.

The truth is drug usage is like a visit to the ivy in center field. You have no idea each time you use how much of you will remain after you come down off your high. Drug rehab is necessary to preserve your life. Start living your life and be a real, giving fan. Take advantage of the opportunity to end your drug use before it is too late. When the Cubs do win the World Series, you want to be there.

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